She & ED

Lid
"She is – beautiful – daughter – mother – wife – teacher – in turmoil – tired – fierce – fragile – His – complex – lover – filled with desire – searching – Ali – desperate – able"

Pot
"He is – a liar – consistent – fraud – an out – identity – relentless – parasitic – thin – momentary relief – ironic – dependent – addictive – abusive – powerful – quiet – accountable to no one – complex – an emotional terrorist – friend – manipulative – mean – blamer – selfish – control – confidence – alienating – a killer – ugly – Frazier – maddening – ED"

The piece attempts to visually demonstrate the complexity of the relationship between person and eating disorder (often named “Ed” for recovery purposes). You’ll note that not all of the language specific to Ed is negative. Folks wouldn’t put themselves or their families through the impacts of eating disorders if there wasn’t some sort of payoff.

The design of the lid is unique, but connected.

The size of the lid is smaller than Ed. He seems like a big mother when you’re in relationship with him.

The lid can, and needs to, be removed. But not until a decision and physical action is taken to do so.

It’s not a comfortable topic, but it’s real. Ed is a legitimate killer. He’s not someone to toy with. But those that have chosen relationship with him do not have to remain connected. I hope that that those that are struggling, but have grown numb to friends and loved ones talking (or not talking) about a change, will be able to absorb the visual in ways that plain words don’t communicate.

My prayer is that each person that is in relationship with Ed will be surrounded by individuals that recognize the pairing for what it
is: a coping mechanism – no different than tipping back a glass of wine at dinner, disappearing into a book or a movie, gossiping about someone else’s life, or vegging in front of the TV. There is nothing to judge - only a loved one to save from the grips of an abusive relationship.

If you’re struggling and haven’t shared the battle with anyone – share it now. Ed will desperately order you not to, but the decision isn’t his.

pba.